I'm a Grown Up Again!

It's been over a month since my surgery-WOW. Over a month ago I could barely hold a cup, walk, and experienced pain I've never felt before in my life! I went from being a helpless child to a grown up in a matter of weeks! Woohoo!

Thirsty Planet celebrating my cousin
Steve's birthday. (Steve, Jeanette, me, and Travis)

While my parents were gone, I had help over the weekend and some during the week, but for the most part I was on my own. I was able to do little things, and it was just enough to get me through the day. Every morning I got up and increased the distance in my walking. I walked one mile for a couple of days, and by the end of the week, I was walking 1.5 miles. By Saturday, I walked 3 miles. Now I can a walk 4 miles-watch out! In addition to that, I began doing small things each day. One day I practiced unloading the dishwasher and putting up things I knew I could reach. Another day, I did a trial run of doing a small load of laundry. Each day my goal was to do one chore at home as part of my workout routine and "learning how to live again" routine. It was good for me to be alone because each day I challenged myself. However, I didn't ignore the importance of resting and recovering. Quite honestly...my body was a good reminder, so my routine always worked in hours of resting. 

I also started physical therapy which has been a huge help. My PT taught me a self-massage routine along with doing several upper body stretches. The goal of my physical therapy is to prevent lymphedema, but it is also to help me get my range of motion back and "learn to live again." Yep, my physical therapist pointed out the one thing I know I took for granted...my independence.

While I am making a great deal of progress, I have to do so slowly. Now that I have transitioned to physical therapy, it has added on to my extensive "maintenance" list I will be living by. At physical therapy, I was given a folder with a list of "to-do's" and "avoid doing" for the rest of my life since I am at risk for lymphedema. Yes...for the rest of my life, and I am not exaggerating here. Because I am active and want to get back to my active lifestyle (running, strength work, etc), I have to follow a very specific treatment plan so I can return to that lifestyle. So, basically physical therapy and this plan has three important goals: 1) Lymphedema prevention and treatment 2) Full range of motion  3) Modified exercises to return to a regular workout routine. Again, my medical team is awesome! My plastic surgeon referred me to two women who are not only physical therapists, but they are also certified in lymphedema treatment. They are experienced with breast cancer patients, so I am in excellent hands! 

Me: Dr. Haydon, when can I start jogging?

Dr. Haydon: I think you are at that point now. BUT...slowly. Slow jogging for now.

Me: I can do that. Yes!

Look who's ready for Halloween?
She's my lil Wonder Woman!

I was given the go to begin some slow jogging, but one of my therapist suggested I increase my walking pace first. Not the answer I wanted to hear, but I understand why and will do my best to be a good listener. Too much too fast can trigger lymphedema. Okay...you got my attention, ha. Oh...and I started driving!! I'm also doing this slowly. The first time I drove, I was super soar the rest of the day. I was amazed at how many muscles we use to drive especially for turning! I still have a hard time with turning. It's like I am in driver's ed again...geez!! Of course, like everything else, I have to take caution with driving as well. 

This past week I made the transition back to work, and it felt GREAT to be back. I don't ignore that I am still healing inside and out, so I worked half days only. By the end of the week I thought I'd try a full day, and well...I made it to 2:30 on Friday. I joked with Cassandra and told her how crazy I was thinking I'd make a full day on Friday the 13th? I mean...really? BUT...that's my style. I tend to pick the most challenging task to test how much I can handle. This particular day my body said-enough...that's good. I called it quits at 2:30. Overall, it is so nice to be in a routine. I feel like a grown up again! My schedule is still ongoing doctor's appointments, and I go to physical therapy twice a week. 

My last visit was a tough one. The massages are great, but I pay for it later-SO SORE! My PT also added "wand" exercises. I basically practice movements that require me to do circular motions and horizontal movements with my arms. Right before being introduced to these new exercises I asked when I could start my workouts again with Outright Fitness. Then...I laughed at myself because I could barely do a 360 movement with my arm! Again-reality check---I mean really Clarissa?...You just recently gained the ability to raise your arm almost to a full extension! Just because I can fist pump (that's for you Jane!) doesn't mean I can lift weights, ha. I am just so ready to get back to where I left off, but again...I need to slow my roll because this whole recovery is turtle pace. Turtle pace is good. Oh and I will be getting fitted for a compression sleeve soon. Yep...so any time I lift weights, do any strenuous activity or running, the sleeve goes on. I am going to set a trend...if you wanna be cool---throw on a compression sleeve ;). I'll pinterest it...see how many shares I get! J/K!!

So what next...well, I get my last fill (expansion) in a few weeks. Then I keep the expanders in for 3 months. Dr. Haydon said the earliest I could have surgery would be mid-December. After my next surgery, I wait 3 more months to have more reconstructive procedures then I am done! WOOHOO! Just so you know...these expanders are heavy...way uncomfortable and make me feel like I have softballs as boobs. EGH! Hug me with caution...not so much for me, but for you own safety! That's how hard these things are!! When I get a fill-OUCH! The expander pushes against my muscles and triggers soreness everywhere! NO bueno..luckily I only have one more fill left. 

Great visit with Travis' brother Adam :)

The hair is making a come
back!

Every day and every week I get a little stronger, and I am already looking at trying to run a race in December before I have my next surgery. I won't be setting any PRs or anything. My goal is just to get out there and jog a half-marathon. I will even accept that I will have to work in some walks too. We shall see... My body is also going into full regeneration, ha. It's like my body went from a harsh winter to full on spring...just everything blooming, ha. Each week I feel like I am telling myself..hello trees...hello flowers. My eyebrows are back to the norm. My eyelashes are slowly coming in, and coming in fuller! I welcome that! I tell people I have a black shadow over my head. My hair feels like baby hair, and I think by mid-Oct I'll have pixie hair. My hair is not long enough for a big girl brush, so I bought a baby brush to help tame the new growth :) Fatigue, body aches, stiffness, nausea, and other random side effects still haunt me, but with time I know it will get better.

The other night I couldn't sleep because I was in discomfort. Well, let's just say I haven't really slept well since February, ha. Anyhow, I laid on my bed, and I had a flashback from January. My mind, body, and soul revisited the moment I found the lump in my breast. It's haunting, but yet comforting...if that makes sense. Maybe not..but for me that's kinda how it felt. I appreciate the moments that haunt me because it reminds me of all that I have been through physically and emotionally. It also reminds me of the healing and growth I have experienced and will continue to experience. Yes, cancer changes your life forever, but it's all about how we embrace the change. 

There is so much to look forward to in the months ahead, and I look forward to sharing these moments with you! As always, I appreciate your ongoing support, prayers, messages, and check-ins. Every day...and I DO mean EVERYDAY I thank God for my support system. I understand why my grandmother always-ALWAYS said thanks be to God. From simple to complex...we have so much to be thankful for in life. Thanks be to God.

Much love to you,

clari
"All women can do wonders if they're put to the test." ~ Wonder Woman