It is Official:  One More Round Left!

Another pic from the photo shoot
at Gruene Hall. 

Stephanie sent me this awesome Wonder Woman
Cup-thanks Stephanie-love it!!

It is hard to believe the summer is here, and as I look back on the past few months, I found myself saying "Clarissa, you did it." And I did not do it alone! I made it through the last few months of the school year, and now, I am on the home stretch with chemo. One more round left--can you believe it?!? Today I finished round 7! I enjoyed the days before because I was feeling good and close to normal. My last round was SO HAARRDD!! I thought maybe my oncologist would reduce my dosage for this round, but NO--MAN! I was really hoping, but oh well, I am not the expert. As I sat in the chair to get ready for treatment (5 hours of it), I looked at Travis and said "Egh, I am getting the same dosage." His response "Well, would you start walking or stop at mile 21 of a marathon?" Umm...NO! 

I can see the light...I am closing in on the part of the marathon where you are getting so close, but it hurts, and well, you still have a long ways to go. I will be done with chemo in the next few weeks or so, but please know my marathon, my race, my unforeseen journey is not nearly complete. I have anywhere from 3-4 weeks with no treatment. I am not sure how this will make me feel. The down time allows my body to get healthy enough to undergo major surgery. The tumors on my right side are smaller, but not gone, and as of now, my medical team does not know anymore than that. Before beginning chemo, they informed me I was about a stage two based on the information they had at the time. My final pathology report is pending until I have surgery. Surgery in itself will be a another battle. Double mastectomy with immediate reconstructive surgery will not be pretty, will not feel great, and will take  weeks of recovery. Please, stay with me, Travis, and my family. We still have quite the journey before I am on the road to remission. 

Family to the Rescue and Round 6 Recovery

My padres at the Salt Lick

Over the week, I had lots of quality time with my parents. My parents sleep later than me these days, so while they were asleep, I started out my Saturday morning with a run. Well, I say run, but it was more like a run/jog/walk. My stamina and strength are at an all time low. Here is a run down to give you an idea of how much strength and stamina I've lost from the cumulative effects of chemo and from the number it's done on my hemoglobin and red blood cell count:
Before I found the lump and received my diagnosis, I ran the Houston Marathon and set a PR. A few weeks after my diagnosis, I ran the Austin Livestrong Half-marathon. I continued to work out and run with my running group through March, and once I knew I was not going to have surgery, I signed up for the Cap 10K. Within the first two weeks of treatment, I ran a 10K. In May, after my 3rd round of chemo, I ran a 5K which I paced at 9:30 for the whole race. So, what do I have now? In all those races and training workouts, I could run, but now it is a challenge to jog, and I have to take multiple walk breaks. 

About a month ago, I noticed I could not run 3 miles without stopping to walk. Now, after I jog (not run) a mile, I have to stop and walk. In my mind, I WANT to run  4miles or more and not stop, but sadly, my body won't let me. At first, I was really discouraged and bummed about it. For someone who has been running regularly, it is hard when I can't run past a mile. Then I realized, while I am not able to run certain mileages like I used to, I can still go out for an hour or more and keep my heart rate up  the whole time. On my good weeks, I make it through my workouts with David (which are not easy!). The other day I was pretty excited to jog 2 miles non-stop. I was determined to do it, and I did it!  I am accepting this as part of my training for future races when I am back to a normal routine. I have to tell myself I can only do what my body will allow, and after today's blood work, it will not get easier. My hemoglobin has dropped even lower. Hemoglobin carries oxygen which a big part of the reason I tire out so quickly, good and bad days. My body fatigues quickly. I am at a 9, and if patients drop to 8.5 or lower, then iron is needed which is administered through my port. I am so close to the end, so I am going to have a SERIOUS talk with my hemoglobin and red blood cells and let them know they need to "woman up and fight like a girl!" They need to know I don't have time for this nonsense ;) They are challenging me physically, but I hope in the long run, my body will get stronger. So, when I am back on a training plan, I will found out what I am made really made of.

My "gangsta" pic, ha. This was
the day I was covered head to toe
because I had constant chills.

I am becoming a little more experienced with this whole chemo thing. I have learned that within 48 hours of chemo, the side effects of the chemo begin to kick in. Within 24 hours of the nuelasta shot, taken 24 hours after chemo, these side effects begin to kick in too. Basically, when Taxol and nuelasta come together, it is the perfect storm. Crash and burn baby. Both make your body ache to the bone, and the pain is so intense, you are never quite comfortable. For round 6, I said, "yes, give me the pain meds," and sadly, the relief was minimal, but I still took them. Even with the steroid, claritin, and pain meds, my body hurt to the core. My body aches and pain kicked in with a whole new level of intensity and much earlier than the last round. No matter what I took or did to offer relief, my body just throbbed…it was the like the energizer bunny where it just kept going….AND…going…GOING! GRR..

Zee with the girls :)

Oh, and guess who came back to visit me??…queasy and nausea. How nice of them to visit me again! Sunday I was beginning to feel all side effects, and come Monday-WOW. Let me put it to you this way--

Yep, apparently God thinks I am a badass. It was "Miserable Monday." I was in so much pain, queasy, no appetite, and when I tried to eat, it turned my stomach. I had the kind of pain where you don't know whether you should laugh, scream, or cry from it. Monday was just terrible, and part of the reason it was so terrible was due to neuropathy. Yeah, I mean…who wouldn't love their feet to tingle and go numb---pain so intense it hurt to walk. Piercing pains shooting down your legs, arms, and random parts of your body. Hands also going going numb to the point where I could not open a water bottle. All I could think was "Clarissa, this is going to be a rough ride." Speaking of rough rides---During one of my rounds of chemo, my sister Michelle got really sick too :(. She was in the hospital for days. Michelle had a kidney stone and had to get her gallbladder removed too. We were in different cities, but in misery at the same time. In the words of my sister Michelle "We are Alvarados-either go hard or go home!" Haha! Alvarado women are hardcore for sure! So, while in this misery, I have to thank my sister and her colleagues. Zelina's supervisor has been so flexible and supportive. With a busy time at work, she allowed Zee to leave early so she could come and help me. Because Zee had class, she was only able to come for a few hours. Love that I have family who live close enough to make quick trips. 

Walls and More Walls

My friend Susan gave this to
me-love it! Thanks Susan!

Running a marathon, you get to a point where you hit many walls, and some are harder than others. I have certainly hit a wall in this race (one of many), and rather than give up, I had to talk to myself mentally to dig deep. Part of what helped me prepare for Tuesday was GI Jane. Yeah baby!!! I needed so motivation so I popped in the movie and got ready for my "A" game!! I just love GI Jane. I included a couple of clips to relive the moments! I have an all new appreciation for the scene where she shaves her head-how empowering!!! Here it is!
http://youtu.be/LU_mJDOB7ZM 
This clip is where the master chief explains that pain is your friend...I guess pain is my friend for now, ha. http://youtu.be/g1Bd5DhItKQ

At some point I will do a one arm push-up...and maybe look like GI Jane one day, ha! If only I could get by body to look like this...David B. help!!
Thanks to Lisa and David who let me borrow the movie :). By Tuesday, besides the overall body aches, my neuropathy was intense. Luckily, my parents came in to help me out. I could not walk down my stairs without holding onto the rail, and my walk was more like a shuffle. Doing more of a shuffle reminds me of my godmother/grandmother. God bless her soul. She was the most amazing woman and so strong in her faith. If you ever had the honor of meeting her, you instantly felt a special presence about her. I believe she was an angel on earth, and now she is my angel always at my side. Before she passed (couple years go), my grandmother had different medical complications with one being osteoporosis. She had to walk with a walker, and she didn't walk, she shuffled. Trying to walk was so painful for her sometimes. When her health took a turn for the worse, I remember seeing and hearing her in pain, and through it, she held on as long as she could because she was such a strong woman. During my moments of pain from round 6, I asked my grandmother to bless me with her strength. I asked for the strength, mentally and physically, to fight through the horrible pain the chemo was placing on my body. I can tell you it wasn't an instant relief or answer, but she gave me strength and answered my prayers many ways. 

Zee and I with grandma

My last pic with my grandmother at Christmas

Through the works of God and my grandmother, she got my parents to Austin safely to help with the day to days tasks I couldn't do.  I know this experience has been hard for my dad, but he gathers a smile laugh and strength to take care of me like a little girl again. She made sure my mom hand the strength everyday to be on the go so I could rest. My mom would bring me socks, cover me in blankets, whatever I needed to help with any pain I was in. Come Thursday, she gave me the strength to get up, get dressed, put some make-up on, and go to an administrative conference that afternoon. By Friday, I was able to drive to the conference on my own and spend a half day there. Friday afternoon, I still had to rest, but I could walk without feeling like my feet were on pins and needles. Saturday, I was able to walk/jog 5 miles with the neuropathy still present. So, while my relief didn't come instantly, I do believe my grandmother blessed me with many small gifts of strength to get me through the week. I also know God and my guardian angels have my back too! Of course, the positive words of encouragement and prayers I receive from you contribute to the fight I had to endure daily. A runner can't get through a race without "spectators." 

I was told Taxol is easier, and personally, I do not think that is the case. Taxol is a different kind of hard. The neuropathy for this round was so persistent and painful. Without chemo, nausea can happen for various reasons, but neuropathy is scary. Neuropathy reminds of the bad chemo does to me. It reminds me it is killing my good cells and damaging my nerves-not cool...not cool at all. 

Oh, and I am losing my eyelashes and eyebrows. I imagine if I had thinner eyebrows, I would have lost them weeks ago, but they are definitely thinner. I have areas where you can tell there is no hair at all, and I am hoping that's all I will lose. A good portion of my eyelashes are gone too, so I stopped curling my eyelashes and using mascara. It is best anyway. The mascara was beginning to burn my eyes. 

My friend Carol lives in New York now,
and she found time to make some of my
favorite cookies! Thanks Carol!!!

So, while I whine and complain of all the physical and mental effects the chemo has on my body, I can say I am ever so happy for the positive effects it is having on killing the cancer and shrinking the two masses. With that being said, I want to emphasize that my treatment has been VERY promising. The outlook is good, and before you know it, I will be on the road to remission!

Travis (AKA-Dog Whisperer)
Cassie, Coach, Bella, and Maya

I want to share a few words on Travis, and I thank all of you who ask about him. Travis has been such a trooper through all of this. He has seen me at my weakest and most vulnerable moments. Lord, bless his heart when he has to hear me whine and complain, ha. He has been so patient when I have moments of NO patience, easily irritated, whiney, moody, and more indecisive than normal. I am sure he has his own list, ha. I know life has been a bit different for him, and he always has a smile on his face and keeps things light and funny. There was one night when I was in quite a bit of pain, so he massaged my knees to help alleviate the pain, and while he did so, I had a moment of sadness. I have them now and again. Sad that he has to see me go through this and experience it, and sad I am even having to go through this. Like I said, Travis is trooper and a super strong person. He is one of the strongest people I know who always has a positive outlook on everything and anything…and most importantly, it is driven by his extremely strong faith in God. Please continue to keep him in your thoughts and prayers as well. He has a long ways to go with me too. 

 Summer Time

Dancing with my daddy

I managed to finish out the year, and now I am on summer break. When I started to slowly feel better, I was able to gather the energy to do a few things with my family. Father's Day Weekend, we visited several small towns. We went to Gruene and New Braunfels on Saturday. We took my dad to the Phoenix Saloon which is a pretty awesome place! For Father's Day, we ate at the Salt Lick, and it was my parent's first visit. They really enjoyed it. It felt good to enjoy some outings and not be in constant pain. I thank God for my parents who can be at my side and help when I need them. In their retired state, they are quite funny too! 

Father's day with my dad

Salute to my dad: My dad...where do I begin. He is our rock, and like my sister said, our foundation. Simple, humble, strong, and a man with a big heart. He is self-less in every way. I know my diagnosis has been hard on him, but in his heart, I know he knows I will get through it. My dad endured many hardships, but I believe some of these hardships define part of who he is today. He grew up in a family of 8 as a poor migrant worker, and eventually, he grew up with a single parent, my grandfather. Through it all, he stayed in school, earned his diploma, he was a football state champ (Miracle at Donna), Vietnam Veteran with 2 Purple Hearts, degrees in Biology and Chemistry, and now enjoys the fruits of his labor. He retired two years ago. He is funny, and the life of our family pachangas (any pachanga really)! He says things I don't think to say. I could go on and on about my dad, but one person we are ever so grateful for is the late "Doc." My dad was shot twice in Vietnam (they were never able to remove the bullets), suffered a concussion, placed in a body bag and his head hit the bottom of a helicopter while being airlifted, and he flat-lined once he arrived to a hospital.  Doc saved my dad's life, and for years, he thought my dad didn't make it. As a matter of fact, some of the guys would look for his name on the Vietnam Memorial Wall. About 7 years ago or so, Doc and my dad were reunited. My dad's first words to him were "Doc, you saved my life." If it were not for Doc, my dad would not be here today. Love you dad!

After I get my nuelasta shot tomorrow, Travis and I will be traveling to Corpus Christi. One of my best friends, Ashton Cook, is getting married on Saturday. I have not seen him in years, and while I know Saturday is usually the day I begin to get body aches, I gave him my word I would be there. I want to be there! It is an important day for him, and I look forward to seeing friends from my small town :). I also have some family and friends who will visit me while we are there, and I am excited to see them. They have not seen me since I started treatment. My visit home will help me mentally to fight and dig hard for the upcoming week...it will not be an easy one. 

Reminder: Austin Race for the Cure is November 1oth. Our team name is "Bros and Bras." If you are able, please join us. My Care Calendar Commander, Amber Laroche, is the team captain, and I thank her taking the initiative to coordinate a team. 

Houston family and friends: Houston Race for the Cure Houston is Oct. 5th. Zelina's friend, Stephanie Jaramillo, has a team as well "The Rack Pack." She asked if they could do this in my honor, so I invite you to join. God willing, I can at least walk it! I hope you can join too. So honored and thankful Stephanie coordinated a team as well. 

Please know I pray for you and thank God for you. My family and friends are the world to me. I am so thankful for the ongoing support you have given me, Travis, and my family. The past 4 months would not have been possible without you-muchas gracias!! You are the BEST TEAM EVER!

Much love to you,

Clari

"All women can do wonders if they're put to the test." -Wonder Woman

Travis called this pic my "Wonder Woman Club". His nieces
and nephews wore temporary Wonder Woman tattoos for the Buffalo Half-Marathon too :)
Love this!!!