Round 2 of Chemo = GI JANE

My Parents

Mom and Dad with Esai Morales-love this pic!

The week after my first chemo round was rough, but at least I have some idea of what to expect. My parents…I don't even know where to begin. I attribute much of who I am and where I am to them. My mom grew up as the only girl and had to overcome some challenges growing up. My dad was extremely poor who grew up as a migrant worker while trying to attend school. He is a vietnam veteran with two purple hearts. They never once doubted any of my goals or ambitions and are my number one fans. My mom and dad are two very strong individuals, and while I feel I should be the one taking care of them, here they are still taking care of me. I do not have kids, but I realize the hardship they face in this journey. During the week Travis asked me how my parents were doing. I told him I felt bad and thought they were bored because I couldn't do much so, they just laid around with me…day…after day. Then it hit me…my parents hurt for me. They did not care if they lay around all day doing nothing and watching horrible daytime TV. To them, it was the least they could do. I cannot tell you how blessed I am to have my parents with me who can make the trips and have the strength and energy to help me in my weakest moments. They were there when I got the news, and two months later, they were there helping me with the day to day tasks I was not able to do on my own. 

Staying Strong

Ashlee, me, and Z

Another race together-Cap10K

I did my best to stay physically active even when I felt horrible. I am stubborn. Sometimes doing things the hard way helps me gauge what I am really capable of. I worked out a few times during the week, and ended my week running the Cap10K with my sister Zelina. It meant the world to me to have my sister run my first race into treatment with me. My friend Ashlee and her fiancé John were also there at the start with us. It gave me the momentum I needed to finish it strong. 

Sisters!!

The Cap10K is a special race for me. When I taught at Paredes, I was approached by one of our PTA members about the Cap10K middle school challenge. First prize was $500 to the school PTA. Hmmm…we need the money, some of our kids did not go beyond where they live, so why not get the Paredes Pumas running the streets of downtown Austin, expose them to a lifelong fitness activity, and participate in the largest 10K in Texas and one of the largest 10Ks in the country! So, that's just what we did!! Paredes won the first couple of years, but they compete every year to get their hands on the first prize again! The most important thing for Paredes…they were the first school to compete…the first school to win…and will have the longest participation record! Paredes will forever hold a special place in my heart. I love running the Cap1OK for this reason, and it still warms my heart to see the Pumas signs at then end of the race and see lil pumas running the streets of downtown Austin! I came home from the race, and it took me the day to recover. I felt like I had ran a half-marathon!

Puma Power (my amiga Magda)

My Work Family: HHS

After the week off, I was also preparing to transition back to work. On Friday I shot a message to Devin and gave him the heads up I would be back on Monday.  We talked over the weekend to discuss a few things, and come Monday morning, I was up getting ready for work. I have to admit, I was a bit nervous. My hair was long before I took time off, and I was coming back with short hair and Mr. Roboto. I made it through 3 full days of work-WOOHOO! Again, I am blessed with amazing colleagues and friends, and just that gave me strength, motivation, and happiness to go to school/work. 

In case I have not told you, but I absolutely LOVE HHS! Yes, I know I am a lil biased, but I really do work at the best and with the BEST! It felt good to go back :) Day 2 at work was harder and after the lunches I crashed a bit. Sabrina is so good…she could tell something was wrong and asked if I was okay-I was not. She turned off my lights and shut my door. The short break got me through the rest of the day. Day 3 I started out a bit tired, but then throughout the day I felt great! I took the day as a gift from God and enjoyed every minute because I knew the next day would put me back to where I started 2 weeks ago. 

Here we go: Round 2 of Chemo (April 11, 2013)

My fun aloe vera zebra socks-thank you Connie and Lori!

The morning I had chemo, I was so determined to get up and workout with my Outright Fitness Speed/Performance group, but it was raining and cold. Typically that would not hold me back. Afterall, I ran a marathon in the most miserable cold and rainy conditions, but I have to be more cautious these days. My white blood cell count had a significant drop so I couldn't risk getting sick. I slept in, got ready for the day, and we headed to Round Rock for Round 2.

Trying out a fun hat Shermance brought me, ha! Made me smile

I had an idea of what the days ahead may look like, but Thursday was HORRIBLE! I left chemo thinking I was okay, got a bite to eat, then that's where it's started to go downhill. I get home and I couldn't sleep because I was loaded with such intense medications along with a steroid. However, I am so happy Cas and Travis got in some good napping! Travis has been so busy with teaching, coaching, and helping me. I am glad he slept most of the afternoon…he needed it. 

Nap time....

Every hour got worse: nausea, the stuff that comes with nausea, just sick all over. It was a different kind of miserable than last time. My neighbor and friend Tabitha came that evening to help, and I am so glad she was there. She probably didn't know it, but my body was hurting so bad, and I thought good lord what else is in store for me. She left a little after 8, and I was even more sick. Then….a symptom I was not expecting-I started to get numbness and tingling in my arms and hands. Great-neruopathy. It's rare to get it with this medication, but I usually fall into the rare category. In case you don't know, I am allergic to neosporine. Long story short, I had chafing from running on my chest, my dear friend Jane suggested I put neosproin, so I did. Days later I was at my dermatologist who said it was an allergic reaction to neosporin. At that time, my doctor told 10% of the population was allergic-shocking? Nope, not at all. 

About 9 pm, I was in BAD shape, so I called Travis and he made his way back to my place. I am so glad he stayed because my condition from last time was at an all time low. 

More nap time....

Friday: I had a hard night sleeping, woke up in the morning, and stayed in bed until after 11 AM. I was still weak and nauseated….definitely worse than last time. My friend Magda came later to pick me up and take me to get my Nulesta shot. I was pretty nauseated the during the drive, so I popped in the soft peppermints to help, and it helped some. As I was about to walk into the infusion room, one of my doctors saw me and noticed I was not doing well. I spoke with her briefly, and she walked me into the infusion room and got me into a chair. I was given  fluids, more anti-nausea medicine, and another steroid. I got worse before I started feeling better. I asked for saltine crackers because I was so nauseated I thought I was going to lose it! I told Magda, and she said "I'm so glad you didn't because I would've been throwing up too!" My response "barfarama" so glad that didn't happen! Once I wrapped up, I slowly ate more saltine crackers, and I was finally on the mend! We stopped at Thundercloud Subs, and I ate my first meal since Wednesday that actually stayed in my system…thank God! I was laid up the rest of the evening to rest and recover. 

Ashlee, me and Cristin-running buds.

Saturday: Did not sleep well at all. I even took my medication to help me sleep, but it only worked for a few hours. I was up a little after 6, and I still felt weak with a sensitive stomach. Ugh…here we go again…round 2 of misery. On Friday, I received some very sad news, so I had lots of time for reflection Friday night. Told myself "I have to fight harder." It's not just my battle, but it's God's battle for me too. Hmmm…okay…I feel cruddy, but I can try to at least jog with some walk breaks. So, I met my friend Cristin at 8 AM and that's just what we did (thanks Cristin!)

I admit I felt horrible the whole time. My stomach was so sour and I was so weak, but I made it. I thought maybe the run would make me hungry, but no. All food sounded gross…geez! I knew I had to eat something, so I managed to make and eat a little oatmeal with flaxseed, honey, organic almond milk, and some organic pure cane sugar. It took me a couple of hours to eat some of it, but then it grossed me out so I was over it. Frustrating!

GI JANE

Needless to say, round 2 has been really tough one. Simply stated…I'm pretty miserable. Oh, and I started losing my hair. Yep…not even 24 hours after chemo, it just started falling out. I was shedding more than my dog Cassie, ha. I had to get the lint brush not only to clean her hair off my bed and sofa, but mine too!!  How about that?! I told myself I would go day to day so see how much hair actually fell out. 

Saturday morning's shower…disheartening. After that, hair just kept falling everywhere. It's time to call Erica. Erica had offered to come to my place to do the final honors, so I sent her message to see when she was available. I was not expecting her to get me in on Saturday, but she did! She asked if I wanted to go to the salon or home…hmmm. "Clarissa you are a warrior…be brave." I told Erica "I'll be there at 5:15." Travis came to pick me, and we were off to Urban Better for my "GI Jane" hair appointment. 

Erica gave me a big hug, and like before, super supportive and encouraging. I gave Travis my jacket and purse, then I sat in the chair-deep breath. I took a final glimpse of myself with short hair then I closed my eyes. Erica asked if I was ready, and I responded "yes." She started in the back first so I could feel my hair falling. Told myself "Clarissa you are okay…remember GI Jane is a bad….you know what ;)!" Then the tears started to fall….I could feel Erica make her way towards the front of my head, hair falling down my face, in my lap, then to my feet. The tears reminded me that this is for real, and it's not a dream. Everyday I am reminded just a little more that I am battling cancer. The final shave, like my friend Robin told me, "…is just a temporary battle scar." Yes, she is right, but I still cried, ha.

Once I was all done, I wiped the tears from my eyes, looked in the mirror and took a deep breath. As soon as I got out of the chair, I looked at Travis right away and asked "Do I have a weird shaped head?!" All three of us laughed, and I was told I had a nice shaped head, ha! Phew!!!  Erica took me back to wash and condition my scalp, and it felt amazing. I brought a scarf with me, but I walked out of the salon without it. Travis encouraged to me to "go with it" and not wear a scarf. "It looks good…it's Austin!" Okay, I'll be brave and so when we picked up a to go order, I walked in to the restaurant as GI Jane.

Recovery Time

I've taken some time off from work this week to build back my stamina and strength. I am already beginning to feel my side effects kick in, so I am going one day at a time. I go back for Round 3 on April 23rd. 

I'm still in the early stages of this marathon. It takes some time to get in your groove and settle into a solid pace. I think that's where I am at. While I am doing my best to stay strong, I also allow myself moments of weakness because I just don't have the energy. I surrender myself to God and ask him for strength when I don't have it. The days ahead will be hard, but once I get past the thorns the rose will be there. Then, I will have the energy and stamina to feel like myself. 

A HUGE thanks to all of our friends and family who have been helping Travis and I. My "Care Calendar Commander" Amber has been so helpful and so on top of making sure everything is taken care of. Amber will update my calendar month to month, so she will send info on May when I get my next round of appointments. 

Again, thank you so much for checking in to make sure I'm okay. Check-ins are important for me, and I welcome them. While I am getting better at asking for help, sometimes I do not because I think I can do it on my own…I am stubborn. And as always, I thank you for the prayers, positive thoughts, and support. It keeps me strong and determined to put my boxing gloves everyday and tackle every mile of this marathon...even on the days I'm just not feeling it. 

 Much love to all of you,

Clari

"All women can do wonders if they're put to the test." -Wonder Woman