Renewing Body, Mind, and Soul

Short Version: Since my last blog, I've been focused on renewing my body, mind, and soul. Let's just say it's been a bumpy ride, but I'm getting better. So…here are some updates since February:

• I'm still in physical therapy. 
• I see my oncologist and breast surgeon again in May.
• Due to ongoing symptoms, I'm wearing compression everyday until May. Boo.
• Laverne and Shirley are good. I saw my plastic surgeon, and I'll see him in 6 months!
• Spring Break-We took the dogs to the beach. It was the perfect getaway!
• I can run up to 8 miles! I ran my first race for 2014: Cap 10K
• I am exercising 3-4 times a week
• I started yoga
• I've been on a regular work schedule for 2 months now.
• After 15 years, I let go of my girl Midnight, and now I have a new ride in my life~Pearl.
• We had a relaxed Easter, celebrated Travis' birthday, and look forward to seeing his parents this week. 
• Continuing (and trying) to move onward and upward.

Long Version:
A year ago, I started chemotherapy, and it was around this time where the reality of my world really started to go full throttle. One year later, I am ever so grateful to be where I am today. However, I am still giving my all to work out all the kinks and continue to learn through many trials and errors. I have to work harder to stay healthy. What worked before does not work as well or as effectively and that can be VERY frustrating. I have my flaws and my moments of weakness. I also have the moments where I gaze into the mirror, and I can see how the stress of the year has aged me. Yes, I know all of us notice something different year to year, but for me, what I see is more than what I've seen before. I look into the mirror, and I see the face of a very tired…tired…woman, ha. Like I've said many times over, it's the trade-off. While it is hurtful sometimes to see how much stress I see and feel inside and out, I am thankful to have the strength I do to rebuild my body, mind, and soul. It's quite the journey.

Over the past 2-3 months I've noticed many significant changes in my body. I've had ongoing changes due to the inevitable this year, but the most recent feel more permanent…if that makes sense. I'm doing my best to keep up and with that comes changes in my diet. Life is MUCH more expensive for me too. Half of what I'm referring to are the things I can't avoid, and the other half are the changes I've made because of the following quote:

Travis hears his share of…"you should buy that organic…you should eat that organic…don't' eat there because I saw what they put in that stuff…"My grocery bill doubled, but I'm okay with that. It is a personal choice, but I am particular about where I shop not just for groceries, but for day to day products. I have to be more cautious about what I put on my skin, what I wear, how I eat, how much water I drink..and the list goes on. Again, some changes are personal choices, and some are choices I just don't have. I'm a broken record with this statement, but….lots of maintenance in my life. Don't get me wrong, I still go to my favorite restaurants and treat myself from time to time with all the yummy joys in life! Thankfully, Austin's local restaurants are about serving healthy, natural, organic, and quality food. And-I'm all about keeping it local (Austin and weird). 

Cas loved the waves!

Medically…where am I? I see my oncologist in May for my 9 month check in. For this appointment, they are going to check my bone density and vitamin D levels. It is my hope that I will continue to see all good numbers across the board for my bloodwork. I will also see my breast surgeon. They are going to take measurements of my arm and get an update to determine whether or not I need to continue to wear compression daily. I have not been diagnosed with lymphedema, but due to ongoing symptoms, the compression was required to reverse any possible early symptoms of lymphedema. So far, it's been successful.

I am continuing to receive lymphatic treatment along with building my program to regain full strength and range of motion. I am excited about all the different movements I can perform now. I recently saw my plastic surgeon and had a great visit. As of now, I shouldn't have any major surgeries, but possibly outpatient stuff…no biggie. After all I've been through, I can pretty much handle any medical procedure. I'll see him in 6 months. I've also been seeing a dermatologist. My last visit,  I received steroid injections for some of my battle wounds. Some are beginning to keloid so hopefully the steroid injections will help (BTW…these injections are not fun).

Earlier in the month I ran my first race for 2014- Cap10K, and I was very excited that I was able to run the whole race without stopping. Because I had not been running much, my goal was to finish and walk when I needed to. I felt good when I started and coached myself through each mile thinking this may be the mile I literally lose all adrenaline, ha. It never happened. I was 55 seconds from setting a PR. I am working out 3-4 times a week, and on some days I wake up at 4 AM to begin working out at the gym by 5 AM. I know that may sound crazy, but by the end of the day, I am wiped out. Going to the gym after work is harder than waking up super early. I've noticed I am more productive and sleep better on the days I workout early AM. I also started going to yoga at pretty cool place called Wanderlust Yoga (thanks for the suggestion Amber!). 

Recently, new research was published on Triple Negative Breast Cancer. I've mentioned this before, but part of the reason I made the choices I did for treatment and surgery was because there is still so much doctors and researchers don't know about this type of cancer, and the research is ongoing. For cancers that are hormone positive, most women take medication from anywhere from 5-10 years as continued treatment. For women, like myself, who had triple negative breast cancer, there are no additional treatment options once chemo and surgery are complete. While there is an advantage to that, it's also kinda scary. Reoccurence and risks of other cancers are higher and while the next 5 years are critical, the first three years are even more critical. I'm not obsessed with the risk of getting cancer again, but it does scare me. As I've said a many, many times, my body is not and will never be the same, so I have to work harder at keeping it healthy. I have to work harder overall in this whole survivorship phase. I am getting better at handling this part of the journey, but it's never easy.

Pardon the language…but I read this and said yep--that's about right.

I still have my moments of weakness, but I noticed I have more moments of strength. The spring has truly been a season of renewal for me. Last year during this time, I was in the beginning of chemotherapy, I lost my hair, went GI Jane, and began to slowly disintegrate with all the cumulative side effects of chemo. One year later, I am building what's left of me. And quite honestly, what bothers me more are not the scars I see everyday, but rather, the tiredness in my face…the aging I've seen take place so rapidly. I know it eventually happens to all of us, but sadly, chemo makes the process happen sooner than later. Major boo!! If you find the fountain of youth, please let me know, ha! This is one of my of my personal confessions, and while it bothers me, I constantly have personal interventions to remind myself of the trade-off.

It was a tight fit in the Mazda!

This year already has many updates. Over spring break, Travis, Coach, Cassie Mae, and I took a road trip to Port Aransas and stayed at a house on the beach for the first half of the break. It was the perfect trip, and the dogs had a blast! We are going back in the summer because we had such a grand time and staying at the same house. We came back from Port A and enjoyed the rest of the week in Austin. After spring break, my truck, Midnight, took a turn for the worse. My friend Amber needed help picking up furniture and taking it to her new house (very exciting!). It was on this day I noticed Midnight was acting up. By Monday, I knew it was time. It was like she told me "this is it…I can't go anymore." I had to act fast, so one week later, I let "her" go and purchased Pearla AKA Pearl. Pearl is a 2014 Chevy Equinox, and I love it!

Coach loved the water too…and he loves his tennis ball.

Life is a bit different, but it feels good to get it back to a different kind of normal. Travis, the dogs, and I had a relaxing Easter weekend. We not only celebrated Easter, but we also celebrated Travis' birthday. We look forward to the upcoming week-Travis' parents are coming to Austin! So far, 2014 has been good to me, and I look forward to moving onward and upward on this journey of survivorship. Until next time…namaste ;)

Much Love to YOU,
Clari
All women can do wonders if they're put to the test." ~ Wonder Woman

My last pic and evening with "Midnight."